I LOVE YOU* SUBJECT TO THE FOLLOWING TERMS AND CONDITIONS: A Contract Killers Novel
By Erin Lyon
Forge Books, 2017
From the rim of my glass, I noticed someone watching me. Why is he looking at me? I’m wearing my token. I looked down at my necklace— a gold feather quill with a diamond at the tip. He knows I’m taken— it’s not as though I intentionally left it at home.
He walked over and stood in front of me with his back to Logek (which is hardly ever the case, I might add). I had to do the quick math (sad, I know)—if I’m five foot nine and I’m wearing three- inch heels and he’s at least three inches taller than me . . . screw it. I can’t do math sober— now it’s pointless. Whatever, he’s tall. He’s got dark, dark hair and light eyes. We were in a bar so I couldn’t vouch for the eye color— either green, gray, or hazel, though. Big eyes. Perfect lips. Holy shit. He’s beautiful.
He held out his hand. Big hand, long fingers, tan. Gasp. I shook his hand, politely, because that’s what you would do when any man offers to shake your hand. Regardless of his movie- star quality.
“I’m Adam,” he said, in a deep voice. Figures. He does kinda make you think of original sin.
“Kate Shaw,” I said, trying to sound casual.
“Kate. I love that name.” I’m sure you do, incredibly hot guy, who is inexplicably hitting on me.
“Thank you,” I said, turning back toward the bar. Score one for Kate.
“What do you do?” he asked, seeming genuinely interested.
“I’m an out- of- work attorney,” I told him, with a quick nod and an ironic smile. “You?” “Oh . . . sorry,” he said, cringing slightly, acknowledging that he just stepped in it. “I’m in marketing.”
Of course he is. It’s pretty much the vortex that sucks up young, attractive men, giving them no actual job definition other than “marketing.” Translated as: I’m good at selling shit to people that don’t need it because I’m (incredibly) good looking. Oh, Adam. I am so onto your game.
I cocked an eyebrow at him. “ Really? Just marketing? That encompasses anything from being a sign spinner to being an advertising executive.”
He smiled. “I’m not a sign spinner,” he said. Shit. He has a dimple. Whatever. Jonathan is six feet, gorgeous; has dark Latino skin, black hair, dark eyes. Hot. All that on top of him being the love of my life. Like this guy is going to sway me.
27 Dresses meets Bridget Jones’s Diary for the millennial set in Erin Lyon’s I Love You Subject to the Following Terms and Conditions.
In a world where marriage doesn’t exist—only seven-year contracts—you don’t marry, you sign. You don’t divorce, you breach. And sometimes, you just expire.
Kate is struggling to find her footing. She gave up a career she hated to pursue the law, and now she’s buried in debt and unemployed. At least she’s signed to an amazing guy—hot, sweet, and committed.
Enter the contract killer, the man who pursues only signed women. No commitment, no hassle, all the fun. But Kate has enough fun on her plate… until her partner doesn’t re-up their contract.
After an epic but well-deserved meltdown, Kate gets practical. She accepts a job with her uncle’s law firm, practicing signing law—the one type of law she swore she’d never do. And the contract killer? Now that Kate is single, she’s no longer his type, but he still wants to be friends. Yeah, that’ll work. Kate may be heartbroken, but she’s not impervious to this sexy, smart, and complex man. But hey, it looks like he may not be impervious to her either—signed or not.
Hilariously relatable, with biting wit and charm, The Contract Killers is 27 Dresses meets Bridget Jones’s Diary for the millennial set.
This was such a fun, entertaining read. It was really like a mix of Bridget Jones and 27 Dresses with a bit of Sex and the City thrown in.
I loved all of the characters in this story as they all brought something to it. It is clearly the start of a great series but it left off on such a cliff hanger that I don’t really want to wait for the next one. Kate is going to be in one large mess in the installment I can already tell.
This is a great debut novel by Erin Lyon. I gave it 5 crowns.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
ERIN LYON is a practicing attorney who spends her free time writing novels about lawyers. I Love You* Subject to the Following Terms and Conditions is her debut novel. Visit her online at: www.erinlyon.net.
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